feminist

I used to think that i may exaggerate about my viewpoint.But now i am so sure that i have never exaggerated.My hate grew bigger and i became very aggresive and disappointed.The thing that gives more disappointment was people's carelessness.Nobody seems annoyed other than me and i wonder how is it possible to endure such disrespect and to pretend as if there is no problem.

First of all,i hate living here.I hate people calling me disloyal only because i am not pleased with the culture and lifestyle that i am in.I want to leave here and but i can not.So only one option remains back .I have to change people or i have to let people to change me.Although i am wide open to be changed that easily,they could not achieve to affect me.After many discussions with such people,i noticed that i had achieved to soften their prejudices somewhat,but it had been all.They did not change themselves entirely.I am amazed by their attitude about the things which they adopted as a culture.My amazement is perceived as signs of rebelliousness and stubbornness.They admit that i am logical and questioner but still they was not changed by my thoughts.In deep of their minds,they have some unchangeable adoptions.No brain activity can change this strong permanent adoption ,no matter how clever they are,they can not be changed,so i am failed and i feel overwhelmed...

Today,as i told you before,i feel so sure of my justness.I think turkish men are unbearable and unjust.They take advantage of ignorance of turkish women and religion.They have a tentency to control women's life and belittle state of women.They adopted the idea of women's inability and islamic beliefs helped this adoption.When asked,most of them deny that they adopted this idea,moreover they contradict this claim and say the opposite of it.However,they don't believe it.They can not make themselves believe it.The point is that.Althought both Turkey and Holland have democracy and equality, there is a distinct ideological difference.I think ''existance of belief'' makes this dictinction.Let me give you an example...

Last year,a friend of my mother was moving to another house and needed help with old plug sockets.She called her friend to help her with it.Her friend,who is actually a dutch,came to help with her drill and some equipment.I watched her using drill skillfully and removing sockets gently.Obviously,she was so knowledgeable and confident.I admired her.And do you know what? She did not even understand the reason why i admired her.Because she thought there was nothing unusual with it.She was right to think that way.There was nothing unusual..We made themselves believe that women are inable to do that.At least,we believed it was men's job.Here in modern Turkey,nobody says that women are inable to use drill.But still,people are amazed when they see such women.This hidden beliefs gives me negative encouragement and prevent me from achieving.Hopefully,you understand better that why i am obsessed with it.I have nothing to do with those prejudices.Prejudices don't give women any gain.They just help old minded men to seem more powerful and make women think that they need men..

When i tell all these things,men blame me with being feminist even women do that!I don't understand what is their problem with me actually.If i live in this society and if i feel disturbed,doesn't it indicate the existance of a certain problem?I wonder what this denial will bring them.Well,if i insist consistently that women are more valuable creatures than men, they have a right to blame me with that.They want me to have an impression of it so that denial will be easier for them.The word 'feminist' is a weapon to suppress desire of change.