feminist

I used to think that i may exaggerate about my viewpoint.But now i am so sure that i have never exaggerated.My hate grew bigger and i became very aggresive and disappointed.The thing that gives more disappointment was people's carelessness.Nobody seems annoyed other than me and i wonder how is it possible to endure such disrespect and to pretend as if there is no problem.

First of all,i hate living here.I hate people calling me disloyal only because i am not pleased with the culture and lifestyle that i am in.I want to leave here and but i can not.So only one option remains back .I have to change people or i have to let people to change me.Although i am wide open to be changed that easily,they could not achieve to affect me.After many discussions with such people,i noticed that i had achieved to soften their prejudices somewhat,but it had been all.They did not change themselves entirely.I am amazed by their attitude about the things which they adopted as a culture.My amazement is perceived as signs of rebelliousness and stubbornness.They admit that i am logical and questioner but still they was not changed by my thoughts.In deep of their minds,they have some unchangeable adoptions.No brain activity can change this strong permanent adoption ,no matter how clever they are,they can not be changed,so i am failed and i feel overwhelmed...

Today,as i told you before,i feel so sure of my justness.I think turkish men are unbearable and unjust.They take advantage of ignorance of turkish women and religion.They have a tentency to control women's life and belittle state of women.They adopted the idea of women's inability and islamic beliefs helped this adoption.When asked,most of them deny that they adopted this idea,moreover they contradict this claim and say the opposite of it.However,they don't believe it.They can not make themselves believe it.The point is that.Althought both Turkey and Holland have democracy and equality, there is a distinct ideological difference.I think ''existance of belief'' makes this dictinction.Let me give you an example...

Last year,a friend of my mother was moving to another house and needed help with old plug sockets.She called her friend to help her with it.Her friend,who is actually a dutch,came to help with her drill and some equipment.I watched her using drill skillfully and removing sockets gently.Obviously,she was so knowledgeable and confident.I admired her.And do you know what? She did not even understand the reason why i admired her.Because she thought there was nothing unusual with it.She was right to think that way.There was nothing unusual..We made themselves believe that women are inable to do that.At least,we believed it was men's job.Here in modern Turkey,nobody says that women are inable to use drill.But still,people are amazed when they see such women.This hidden beliefs gives me negative encouragement and prevent me from achieving.Hopefully,you understand better that why i am obsessed with it.I have nothing to do with those prejudices.Prejudices don't give women any gain.They just help old minded men to seem more powerful and make women think that they need men..

When i tell all these things,men blame me with being feminist even women do that!I don't understand what is their problem with me actually.If i live in this society and if i feel disturbed,doesn't it indicate the existance of a certain problem?I wonder what this denial will bring them.Well,if i insist consistently that women are more valuable creatures than men, they have a right to blame me with that.They want me to have an impression of it so that denial will be easier for them.The word 'feminist' is a weapon to suppress desire of change.

Drivers liscence exam is not enough

Imagine 2 roads are crossing at a certain point and you decide to walk across to one of this roads.After waiting a little while,traffic light turns to green for pedestarians which means its just right time to cross the road,but...You realize that cars on the other way are moving towards to you.Green light means you are allowed to cross the road however it doesnt ensure your life.Crasy drivers have already forgotten important traffic rules so they never yield the right of way.They have to yield right of way to the pedesterians when they change their direction at the corners even if the traffic light is green as a grass..I wonder how it is possible to forget this rule as a driver at the same time with other drivers..How a collective ignorance is this?..

what am i gonna do with this parfume?

It smells of memories that i can not escape.I knew that it would always remind me of particular things but i skipped it would make me feel extra emotions such as slight pain and melancholy.Now,its not just scent of a handsome boy of seventeen,its also pang of losing and longing him..I dont know what i am going to do with his parfume.I could not dare to use it in apprehension of losing a bit of him however, i have entirely lost him but his parfume...
I am divided into two,one says i should respect his lovely silhoutte which remained in the past and should carry it to the future saving it..Another says i should waste it and forget the past to make a better start...now tell me what i am gonna do with this parfume bottle?

Avon Works

When i first heard of this job,i thought it is very plausible and lucrative because all i have to do was to show appealing product catalogue to women and note their orders..but i didnt know that it was just the opposite of it.These jobs seem quite simple when you skip to consider important points,such as ''risks''...Now,i can understand the investors hesitations.In past,i used to complain about Turks and accuse them of being too lazy not to make any investment that can help turkish economy to grow faster.Almost all of us aware of necessity of investment for Turkey to catch up with other giants that threat our economy.But i couldn't think that everybody was alreadt able to think what i had thought and everyone knew we should increase our production.I skipped 'risk' factor.I skipped possible results in case of a failure.To prevent possible failures,you always have to be alert and you will always be on the razors edge.What i mean is,you have to check your incomes and outgoings to avoid losing money.Whenever you neglect to control your finance,you will lose some money.It means you always have to be alert.Doubtless,this vigilance cause a huge stress over people.This is the most difficult thing in business life.As long as you have a risk to lose,you will become more vigilant and more stressed that makes you get cold feet to invest more.
Well,maybe these things might seem irrelevant to my avon works,especially investment part.But there is a strong correlation between them.Imagine,i dont have any regular expenses in this job,such as rentals and bills,it means i have lower rate of risk.Even i don't have to pay for fundamental expenses,i noticed that i was losing some money.If i made an investment,i would go bankrupt with faster this bad strategy...
As for my reasons to lose money..
*i was careless and i forgot to note some orders(for example,i ordered some persumes regardless of noting the names of customers,so when i get parfumes,i couldnt deliver them to the right adresses and it made me lose some money
*i forgot to settle my depts on time so i lost some extra money for delay
*i ordered wrong products,so i lost money (i did it zillion times)
*any many others reasons like all these...

In short,business means stress and things are not always easy as much as them seem from a distance.If you dont like it though,i suggest you to stay away from such business and choose a career that suggests you a precise salary so that you dont worry about losing money anymore because your income will be standart.But you will never have dreams like growing rich and becoming a succesful entrepreneur..

I guess i can never admit it..

I resist all the angles of the perspective that point out the necessity of the money for a happy life.As time passes ,more rebel and denier i become.How can i admit such a cruel and materialistic notion?If i accepted it,i bet my world view would be changed.It would absolutely be changed..One of my friend told me'' the one who denies the importance of money is an utter liar''.Well,i assume that he is right at this point,i assume that i migth be a liar.whatelse i might be,i believe that i gain more or i lose less.I believe that gaining more is much more important than knowing the truth.Besides,i still have a chance to tell the truth.Okay,i will clarify what i mean...
First of all,if i dont believe that i can be happy even if i dont have money,i would lose my potential to survive.It should never be forgotten that you will lose your energy to ''make money'' as long as you lose your survival strength.I am both more powerful and hopeful about my future and it makes me gainer.Of course there are some possible threats.For example,being a pollyanna may blind you so you may neglect taking precautions.These all mean that we should consider possible treats and idealistic approaches at the same time...
There are many things that are likely to confuse me about money and human behaviours,i am planning to write about them forthcoming days

the story of a green soda bottle

He was a poor green bottle of soda with sour cherry aroma.After fulfilling his acidic duty,he felt so useless.His fragile green glass body will have been broken into pieces in dust bin.He knew that he didn't have the rest of his story.A bottle couldn't live a hereafter as humankind.No author could help him to end his story.All he can do now,is to keep being a nice green glass bottle of acidic sour cherry soda.He decided to do all he can do and kept being a nice green bottle.His nice green body attracted the little girl of the house,so she gifted an end for him unconsciously.She drew sweet cherry figures on his green body and let him seen nicer,more attractive..Her mother liked whatever she toiled and she was tend to collect her handiworks.She liked the green bottle with red cherry figures on and exhibited it in display window

letz start with?

i dont even know what i am gonna talk about.i just believed that a simple start could seal the fate of my essay.I guess i was a bit wrong about it because i am still indesicive about the rest of my essay's content.uhmm,i havent found yet...still havent found...i am sorry.i think i should sleep now.i accept my failure.good bye..